A serial entrepreneur’s advice on how to effectively talk to people

Humans may learn to talk early in life, but authentic communication is another skill entirely. Asking customers for their feedback, relaying fears to a peer, or attempting to network with other business owners doesn’t come naturally to everyone.

Jill Salzman, founder of The Founding Moms, is a natural talker—but when she was starting out, she thought she could build her business in isolation, without leaning on anyone for support.

Nearly two decades later, she’s not only learned her lesson but has passed on her wisdom to thousands of other entrepreneurs. Read Jill’s best advice for using communication to network better, glean customer feedback, and connect with people in your life who want to see you succeed.

Networking

Help people remember your name

“If they offer name tags, you need to put it on the side of your body, where when the other person reaches out their arm, they’re going to see it. So when I stick out my arm, you’re probably looking at what is, for me, the right side of my body. That’s where you put the name tag. It is so subtle and tiny, but very helpful for people to remember who you are.”

Don’t be a robot

“You are going to walk into this room, and you are not going to hand your business card out to the first person that you see. You want to do what you would do with a close friend on a weekend in your living room. You would want to sit down. You would want to turn to the person next to you and introduce yourself, hands free, no business cards, and say to them, ‘How are you?’ or ‘What brings you here?’ not ‘What do you do?’ I wouldn’t even dive into that yet because you want to talk to somebody like they’re a human being, not a business robot.”

Choose quality over quantity

“You also don’t need to make sure you meet everybody in the room. You can sit and listen and focus on the one person that seems interesting to you. If you leave that meeting with one connection, that actually does lead to a coffee, that is worth that meeting ten times over. So you’re doing it right if you’re doing it real simply.”

Talking to customers

Erase the fake narrative

“The thing that is scaring you from asking [customers for feedback] is your fake story that you made up in your mind about how they’re going to judge you as somebody who doesn’t know what they’re doing, or they’re going to have a weird reaction like, ‘well why is she asking me’ or ‘why is she picking on me?’”

Ask to have a conversation

“Open up your email and email a couple of customers (and I would lean into the recurring ones). You can do a very simple three line, ‘Hey, I had a question about when you walk into my store. Do you like the lighting?’ Something very simple, starting a convo.

“Here’s another thing that I’ve seen people do a lot, where they’ll buy $50 Amazon gift cards and say, ‘Hey, for this $50 Amazon gift card, I’d love to reward you for your time. Will you spend 15 minutes on the phone with me having a quick convo?’”

Integrate feedback into your business

“Have a convo at the counter if you work in a retail establishment. Just ask them. You can put a little cute sign in front. You can start offering 10 points to your customers every time they give you a bit of feedback, or you can have a ‘submit feedback’ box.”

Communicating in your personal life

Talking about your business

“My first piece of advice for any entrepreneur is always: Just go talk to one person about what’s really going on in your business. That could be your mother. That could be your partner. (Eh, don’t burden the kids.) But that could be anyone in your life. Talk to your dog. The practice of saying out loud what’s bothering you helps to awaken this area inside of you that you have been just shoving and pushing down and not being honest with yourself.”

Talking about the ‘big stuff’

“What are the fears that are holding you back? What kind of guilt are you carrying as a working parent? What is the story you’ve been telling yourself over and over about why you really don’t like asking people for a lot of money?

“Everybody thinks that their own challenges are so unique. They’re not. All of that deep, dark stuff that’s holding you back is very similar to other people’s.

“The folks that end up joining The Founding Moms are the folks who maybe are at just the last straw. And they’re going, like, ‘I’ve banged my head against the wall long enough. I actually just can’t figure out what’s going wrong, and I’m a really smart person.’

“So then they are able to start opening up, and it’s not an instant, massive reveal. You don’t have to walk in and share everything that’s ever happened to you since you were four years old. But there is a way to be able to start small and get to know yourself and what’s blocking you from moving forward so that you can start helping yourself.”

Talking to your kids

“One underlying theme that I always see with every working parent is the guilt. And I can’t tell you to just stop having the guilt because it’s there, for whatever reasons. Here’s a few things that I’ve done over the years to work with it, rather than fight it and ward it off.

“I have spent a lot of time since my kids were speaking age [talking to them] about my job, all the time. I bring them in, and I let them know what mom is doing so it’s not foreign to them. My kids now feel some ownership in what I do. They’re proud of what I do. I involve my kids. I went so far as to launch The Founding Kids newsletter. I have them write for it so that they can feel a piece of the action because I’ve never wanted them to feel left out.”

These lessons come from an episode of Behind the Review, Yelp & Entrepreneur Media’s weekly podcast. Listen below to hear from Jill, or visit the episode page to read more, subscribe to the show, and explore other episodes.